One Bride for the Band: A Reverse Harem Romance by Jess Bentley

Author:Jess Bentley [Bentley, Jess]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-01-19T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter 12

Alyssa

There’s no coming back from what I just said on that rooftop.

I just never know when to shut up.

I’m pacing around the hotel room, my arms crossed over my chest, anxiety filling my every step. I don’t know why I decided to blurt out the honest truth of the situation, highlighting my utter inability to choose between Rhys and Van when it came right down to it. But now they both know how I feel.

And they both know what I like in bed, too.

“Oh my God,” I mutter to myself, coming to an abrupt stop mid-pace. “Oh my God. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I ever think any of this was okay?”

I groan before flopping down against the mattress, my hands flying up to cover the shame that’s burning on my face. If I were still back home, I never would’ve done anything like this in a million years. Who is this girl hooking up with one guy after the other, letting Rhys Marshall fuck her in a conference room, letting Van get her off by dirty talking about how much she wants to get fucked by other guys, too.

Who am I anymore?

I mean, I’m still Alyssa Smith, right? I’m still just a girl from a small town with a big dream who got lucky enough to get a shot at her big break in L.A.? I’m still best friends with Marina, and still feeling like I’m somehow coming in second place to her, too. On top of all of that, I’m a pretty badass songwriter, and I know how to write memorable lyrics, the kind that people think about getting tattooed on their arms.

But…is that really who I am?

Because I know that if I asked someone like Geesha Riley, she’d say that I was a shameless boyfriend-fucker, just another one of Rhys’s bedwarmers. And I have a feeling that if she found out about Van and me, she’d label me as the thot of the century, just another sex-obsessed L.A. transplant, a poser whose biggest talent is spreading her legs for her own bandmates—

No.

I have to stop. This has to stop.

I can’t just sit around beating myself up. What for, anyway? For enjoying myself for the first time in my life? For having sex with men who actually care about what I like in bed, what I want them to do with my body? I shouldn’t be trying to punish myself for craving the pleasure they give me, and I’m not going to feel bad about wanting it, either.

Because why wouldn’t I want Rhys’s hands all over me?

Why wouldn’t I want Van’s hands all over me, too?

Pretending that I prefer one over the other would be a total lie and trying to deny the way I feel about either one of them would be an even worse one. Although, now it’s going to be up to Rhys and Van to try and figure out if either of them still want to be with me,

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